Abstinence-only sex education programs do not work. The empirical studies on the subject consistently show that abstinence-plus programs are more successful in lowering teen sexual activity, pregnancies, and sexually transmitted disease. Western European teenagers, for example, become sexually active at about the same rates as Americans. But, the European parents are more open in their discussions concerning sexuality and their sex education starts earlier and is more comprehensive than what we have here in the U.S. This combination makes for much much (did I say much?) fewer adolescent pregnancies, abortions, and transmissions of venereal diseases. Unfortunately, the European model often sidesteps talking about the morality of sex. The best possible sex education outside the home would include information concerning the science of human reproduction, puberty, pregnancy, abortion, sexual violence, sex in the media, same-sex attraction, sexually-transmitted diseases, contraception, AND reinforcement of the importance of self-restraint, responsibility, and chastity.
What is included in sex education is always controversial. Perhaps the three most controversial subjects are (1) same-sex attraction, (2) inclusion of more than abstinence, and (3) advocating chastity. Here are my suggestions for sex ed curriculum on these touchy topics:
(1) When it comes to same-sex attraction, the curriculum should not take a side as to its morality. However, I think addressing abuse and discrimination may be appropriate. Regardless of whether you think expressions of same-sex attraction are immoral or not, no one deserves to be mocked, excluded, or discriminated against. Schools shouldn't specially praise same-sex attraction or those attracted to members of the same sex any more than they would note the achievements of short people, religious people, left-handed people, or other preferences and traits that people use to define themselves.
(2) The word “abstinence” is most closely associated with drugs in the minds of teenagers. As educators, we need to be careful not to throw sex in the same bucket as cocaine and heroin. Perhaps waiting to have sex until marriage or, at least, a committed relationship should be taught not as a matter of abstinence, but as a matter of self-mastery and responsibility. There are those on the extreme-right who believe that teaching anything but abstinence somehow blemishes the purity of American young people. This view is very much in the minority. Knowledge, in itself, is not sin. The goal here is to present the information correctly and maturely before students learn it the hard way. Having condoms available for adolescents, might condone their use. But, the benefits may outweigh the disadvantages of not having them available. But, the fact that having them does not condone their use can be made clear in the sex ed program.
(3) Finally, it seems to be somewhat controversial to advocate chastity until marriage. The libertine-left advocates the hedonistic idea that one-night stands are fine and that young people need to experiment with sex. Sex is a gift and a healthy part of who we are as humans. However, sex is the means of creating human life and starting a family unit. Marriage is a lifelong commitment to family. As such, marriage is the only appropriate place to chance pregnancy. Only the greatest love of a person’s life can rightly accept and reciprocate the most poignant expression of love and togetherness we have. To give that highest expression of affection and commitment to anyone but the dearest person necessarily diminishes its meaning. Those who wait to have sex until they are in a committed relationship are more successful in their careers and physically and psychologically happy. Furthermore, the majority of social ills hurting the country can be traced to rates of sex out of wedlock. Drug abuse, physical abuse, unemployment, low education, violence, and criminal activity are all very correlated with pregnancies out of wedlock. As chastity increases, marriage increases, and no-fault divorce decreases, I can guarantee these social problems will decrease. On both an individual level and a social level, chastity contributes to greater happiness and health.
In Europe and in the United States, sex before marriage is treated as a given. Parents are allowing boyfriends and girlfriends to sleep-over in their son’s or daughter’s room. “Well,” some parents figure, “better openly in our house with condoms than secretly on lover’s lane.” This is a cop out. What about the hundreds of thousands of American young people who do wait until marriage to have sex? Our low expectations and moral mediocrity aren’t pragmatic; they are self-fulfilling prophecies. Parents should assure their children that they will love them unconditionally and are always there to help. They should maintain open lines of communication. Teaching obedience, discipline, and chastity are not inconsistent with maintaining open and sincere lines of communication between parent and adolescent child.
Sex education programs should also include separate classes and resources for parents. Children are being exposed to sex through media and peers at earlier and earlier ages. Some children become addicted to pornography before they even go into middle school. Advertisements, movies, television shows are all employing sex more and more as a means of marketing. Parents need to be given all the tools to more courageously help their children to avoid the immoral temptations of the world at a young age and to overcome enslaving snares disguised as experimentation. If parents would rather teach sex education in the confines of their own homes, perhaps they should be allowed so long as their child can pass a comprehensive but reasonably noncontroversial exam.
